D = A Dancing Dodo

Like most girls, I’ve long had a fantasy of gliding gracefully across the dance floor, cutting an image of elegance and artistry.  My dance partner – my loving husband – would skillfully guide us through the most impressive moves to the admiring glances of all who were watching.

dancing

How I imagined we would look on the dance floor.

Like some girls, I tried to make that fantasy a reality. That reality however turned out to be several shades paler than I had hoped.

We were a young couple, married only a few years, with a small child at home.  In my never-ending supply of great ideas, I enrolled us in night classes for ballroom dancing.

I’m grateful that Gilles loves to dance.  On those occasions we get to dress up and party on, Gilles can always be counted on to occupy the dance floor for most of the evening …. but I wanted to elevate our game beyond a neanderthal shuffling.

It was an ominous start.  Our instructors – a married couple – promptly informed the ladies in the group that if our toes were being stepped on, it was OUR fault.  Gilles responded with a loud and hearty *HA!!* … and it went downhill from there.

We argued … we bickered … we found constant flaws in each other.  Our weekly dance class became a stressful test of wills.

Majorca

Completely unrelated photo of us in Majorca 2008.

Things took a change for the worst when during one class, all the couples were split up and we had to dance with other partners throughout the evening.  It was hell.

As much as I had maligned Gilles’ ability to lead on the dance floor, my other partners that evening were even worse.  On the other hand, Gilles had ended the evening positively glowing. Every woman he had danced with expressed what a fantastic partner he had been and how they wished their husbands could dance as well.

Hmmmm.  This was not going as planned.

The final humiliation came the night our instructors split Gilles and I up after another episode of whining at each other … okay, I was doing most of the whining.

Gilles went with the female instructor and I went with the male instructor.  Clearly we had issues and they wanted to see exactly what the problem was.  I expected to be wowed.  It was not to be.

Mere minutes into the lesson, my instructor promptly stopped in the middle of the dance floor and strongly reprimanded me … we were supposed to be dancing – not wrestling.  I was supposed to FOLLOW my partner.

dance3

Apparently this is my mindset when I step on the dance floor.

By this point, I was beyond frustrated.  Whose stupid idea was this anyway?!

My caustic response was that I’d never followed in my life and I wasn’t about to start now.

My humiliation was complete – I was responsible for our failure to achieve dancing glory and I simply wasn’t going to be that graceful little dancing nymph of my dreams.

Thankfully, Gilles still loves to dance and the neanderthal shuffle works just fine for us now.

D

Thank you so much for visiting.  Please help yourself to a Double Chocolate Doughnut.

double_chocolate_doughnuts

Google image

 

April A to Z Challenge 2015

About Joanne Sisco

Retired but not idle. Life is an adventure - I plan to continue to embrace it.
This entry was posted in A-Z Challenge - 2015, Active Lifestyle, Family, Memories and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

90 Responses to D = A Dancing Dodo

  1. jannatwrites says:

    This was amusing! I’m glad I never got the bright idea to sign up for dance lessons 🙂

    Like

  2. mukhamani says:

    I wish I could really take that doughnut:)))))

    Like

  3. A D-lightful post Joanne! I really like your writing style and sense of humour. Good luck with the rest of the challenge!
    Deb (The WB)

    Like

  4. Ellen Hawley says:

    Very Old School: If your toes are getting stepped on, it’s your fault. Let’s all go back to the dances where the partners face each other but dance separately. That way no one has to follow.

    Like

  5. I feel your pain. I’ve always wanted to dance too…I fear it’ll remain only in my dreams xx

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  6. I don’t see you as a follower either. Stick to your guns girl!

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  7. badfish says:

    Ha! But frustrating, eh? I always wanted to take ballroom lessons, never did. But get this, when I was young and knew nothing of dancing, I went to see an Elvis Presley movie, don’t remember which one, maybe Jailhouse Rock, I think. After the movie, I could dance. I just got on the floor and moved. And won jitterbug contests, first at school, and then…on television! I haven’t danced now in lord, I can’t even say. Remind me to tell you the story of dancing in Mexico. Talk about spooky stuff!

    Like

  8. lv2trnscrb says:

    Just finished eating Easter dinner, too stuffed to take a donut, but they look delicious 🙂 This was so cute to read of your dancing lessons with your hubby. At least you tried, right?

    visiting from A/Z, good luck with the rest of the challenge!

    betty

    Like

  9. treerabold says:

    A funny story and chocolate doughnuts…Yes!!

    Like

  10. This was a hilarious hoot, Joanne! I love how your expectations kept getting crushed by reality. Okay, no, that came out wrong. I love how funny you made the scenarios where hopes met up with truth. There. That’s a little better.
    Regardless, you are a good sport to expose yourself like this, and I’m thinking Gilles may become somewhat enlightened if not endeared to your past predicaments if he reads this post.

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      Knowing Gilles, I think it’s more likely he will respond with another hearty *HA*!! 🙂

      I’ve come to the conclusion that people don’t love us in spite of our flaws, but more than likely because of them. It is what makes us interesting 😉

      Like

  11. Your life seems so exciting! (dropping in from A-Z)

    Like

  12. Alex Hurst says:

    I could never dance, either. I have no rhythm, and i wouldn’t be able to learn it even if it was magically sewn into my slippers. Great post. Had a good laugh. 🙂

    Alex Hurst, A Fantasy Author in Kyoto
    A-Z Blogging in April Participant

    Like

  13. mickscogs says:

    Jo drags me around the kitchen sometimes. Otherwise I only dance with my guitar and a microphone. Good on you for enjoying it.

    Like

  14. M-R says:

    Il est un homme plein de joie, Gilles, je crois. Et toi … toi aussi ! 😀

    Like

  15. Sue Slaght says:

    Hilarious Joanne. Well it’s good to know all that toe stomping and wrestling over leading only made you stronger as a team. What a gorgeous photo of the two of you!

    Like

  16. Helen C says:

    Very funny, Joanne. I like your sense of humor. My husband and I took a ballroom dance class once. He moved like a tree trunk and I couldn’t stop laughing. We failed miserably. You do better, I am sure. 😉

    Like

  17. Nope – doesn’t sound like those lessons were fun – but the story is, at least the way you so wonderfully told it😄!

    Like

  18. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Mmmmm, doughnuts…

    Your dance class sounds like what would happen if I ever tried! Glad y’all survived it!

    Like

  19. Mrs. P says:

    You are so lucky Gilles dances with you. I have always been passionate about dancing but every one of my serious relationships involved men who DON’T dance. 😦 So if I feel like I just can’t sit still any longer I do what I did last night at a Beatles Tribute concert….I dance with the girls! 🙂

    Just because you are on the letter D does not mean you should tempt me with donuts, especially since I am being really good and eating an apple while blogging with you!…but they do look DDDDDelicious!

    Like

  20. And once again someone confirms for me that I am not like “most other girls”. I hate dancing. Loathe it. Always have. We had dancing lessons at school when I was 15. Being at an all girls school, they would bring in boys from the local boys Catholic college. There were never enough and I nearly always got stuck as a ‘boy’. Any wonder I’m confused. The poor Husband loves to dance but must borrow a partner if the opportunity arises (which I limit as much as possible – we even had an afternoon tea as a reception for our wedding so I didn’t have to dance) because I flat out refuse to participate.

    And are you trying to kill me? Chocolate donuts are my all time favourite thing to eat ever. Send me a dozen – stat!!

    PS Not only did your post make me laugh out loud but your exchange with Barbara was hilarious!

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      I was thinking specifically of you when I chose the double chocolate doughnuts. I’m glad I chose correctly. 🙂

      I think your bad experience in school tainted your impression of dancing. Knowing what I know now about my natural ability to dance, I suspect that if I had taken dancing lessons as a teenager, I would hate dancing too!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. kimlhine says:

    My husband taught me to rock n roll dance in the kitchen with four pre teens and a toddler whining about cooking dinner NOT dancing lol

    Like

  22. You are a wonderful blogger and I laughed at this. Good things that the treats at the end of these blog posts are low calorie. My, my, my.

    Like

  23. Ruth says:

    Woo-hoo! Double chocolate donut! I’ve always wanted to be elegant on my feet, but I’m definitely more of an elephant when it comes to twinkling toes… probably down to too many chocolate donuts on my part 🙂

    Like

  24. What is it about ballroom that raises our dander? I had never felt so incompetent while dancing with my partner. It’s an experience alright. 😀 I think you make a fabulous couple.
    I hope you don’t mind if I pass on the donut. 👿

    Like

  25. kmarsell says:

    Hysterical. I’m laughing out loud. This sounds so much like me… You are more brave than I to have tried. I still look first at the dance classes when the city college course catalogue arrives….
    Thanks for the hearty morning chuckle!

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      Sadly, I still look at the course catalogue lessons too … wondering. Then I give myself a big shake and tell myself to snap out of it 🙂
      … besides, I pretty sure Gilles would not be willing to do it again. His memory is very good and the status quo is working quite well for us 😉

      Like

  26. Donna says:

    Hahaha great post. I had a similar experience with latin dancing. I always wanted to learn the salsa. I won a scholarship to a program that had an absolutely wonderful and intuitive instructor who taught us (the small group of women in this program) 4 months of dancing in 8 days. What an adventure. That is also where I relate to your wrestling paragraph, along with the fact that I feel sick when I am spun and don’t take direction well at all. I think i’ll stick with bachata for now…lol

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      4 months of dancing in 8 days!!! I feel a little weak at the thought!

      I had to look up bachata … it looks lovely. Unfortunately it requires rhythm. I’ve discovered that my feet and my head are not friendly and are barely civil to each other.
      Thank you so much for visiting 🙂

      Like

  27. Lynn says:

    Oh dear Joanne, sounds like your dance instructors were a little crusty! I have often thought I would like to sign me & my husband up for some ballroom dance lessons. Perhaps we should just stick to the pure enjoyment of having fun on the dance floor!

    Like

  28. Sammy D. says:

    OMG Those donuts just made my tummy growl.

    I chuckled at your expense while commiserating as well. Well-told ( if not well-partnered), Joanne!!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. You are so right….this is definitely one of my fantasies too! My favourite movies are those where there is a dance scene, however short it might be. However, knowing what I know about my inability to follow and my innate clumsiness, I think I’ll just take your word for it that it would be a disaster of epic proportions and leave it at that! To me, anyway, it’s quite obvious from your blog that you’re a person that enjoys cutting your own path, why in the world should you ever be content to follow someone else’s lead?

    Have loved this post best of all yours so far on this A to Z Challenge!

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      I can always count on you to bring a smile to my face 🙂
      Apparently I’m still in denial as my recent foray into Zumba classes would attest to. It wasn’t pretty :/
      I like your version though … from now on I’ll simply tell myself I dance to a different drummer 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  30. So funny, that would be my husband and I so I think I will save myself the embarrassment and just continue to dance to our own beat. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  31. sinewavelife says:

    This was the funniest post I’ve read in a very long time! I read it to my husband, who was howling with laughter! Thank you so much for writing this. It made my day. BTW, I also have that fantasy, and I can’t dance to save my life. But I do in my dreams!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joannesisco says:

      Me too! I’m graceful beyond imagination in my dreams!!
      Reality however simply bites.

      Glad I could make you laugh – without actually having to demonstrate my moves 😉

      Like

  32. Well this blog certainly took an unexpected turn. Here I was picturing another elegant reason to dress up and it turns out you need a wrestling suit??!! Ha, ha! Actually, so reminds me of something I would do. Stupid as they are, I’d get myself on one of those singing or dancing reality shows and just get cut down by the judges. I’m sure I’d be one of those who was featured in the commercials as being so bad you just had to see it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joannesisco says:

      I am mortified at just the thought … if my dancing is bad, my singing is even worse.
      Apparently there are some things we simply cannot be taught if there is no innate ability 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • You know, the thing is, I’m just mediocre enough at singing to get myself to believe I could actually audition and probably get the most negative feedback I’ve ever gotten in my life!! ‘Don’t quite your day job!!’ Dancing, eh, not even!!

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  33. Oh MY GOD! Ballroom dancing lessons were one of the most humiliating experiences of my life because it turned out that my klutziness – for which I am renowned in this family – extended to the dance floor too. HATED every minute of it. And BH would get this little smirk on his face when the instructor would come over and only correct me which made me feel homicidal. This is supposed to bring us closer together? Ha! The Neanderthal Shuffle, it is.

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      … and yet one more reason why I love you!! Kindred spirits in the klutz and stumble of life!!
      Recently – in spite of my better judgement – I had a Zumba instructor talk me into joining a class. Need I say more? Abject humiliation 😦

      Like

      • Are we leading parallel lives? I was so irritated in a stupid Zumba class there are no words. How am I supposed to elevate my heart rate when I’m concentrating on not falling all over myself PLUS I have to watch myself in that mirror looking like that hippo in “Fantasia” compared to the other girls who are able to move like J-Lo. And as soon as I got one movement down, the instructor would sadistically change the song. HATED IT. Walking around the field with my Fitbit is about as coordinated as I get. COL!!!

        Like

  34. Mama Cormier says:

    My husband and I took dance lessons for 13 months. We loved it but it became too expensive. The only time we bickered was over the salsa. Funny because we were good with the rhumba, cha-cha, waltz and jive. The lessons were my husband’s idea by the way.

    Like

  35. Heyjude says:

    A case of “be careful what you wish for?”
    I loved dancing as a girl, but have never found a partner remotely interested in it. I think I’ll pass on the doughnuts – they look wickedly calorific 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Tim says:

    It’s good to see a view that dance lessons are not always amazing. My wife and I have considered lessons whenever we update our bucket list, but we always stop short of making it a goal because neither of us are really “dancers”.

    Like

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