You Are Not Welcome Here

I was having a discussion recently with Lynn at Life After 50 about my trials and tribulations with losing things around the house.  She told me about her theory of evil gnomes who move into our homes uninvited after our children have grown and moved away.  It seems they take great delight in messing with our minds while playing hide-and-seek with our belongings.

Evilgnome

Image from b3ta.com

I prefer her theory over the prevailing thought that it’s a function of our aging brain.  My brain insists it’s just fine, thank you very much.

In my most recent challenge, I have misplaced the cable to recharge my FitBit.  I’m sure I saw it while I was frenetically tidying up the house last week before we left for Quebec City. It’s a little ironic that if I had left the house in its usual disarray, that damn cable could very well be sitting out in plain sight.

In the meantime, my FitBit is sending desperate messages for help to my phone.  I am powerless to stop its slow decline to blackness.

I’ve searched – multiple times – all the logical places that the cable could possibly be.  I’ve even started poking around in illogical places.  So far I have managed to find my Ironman watch – which has been missing since last fall – and a pair of small silver earrings I lost weeks ago.

In addition, Gilles has managed to find one of my missing socks stuffed in the back pocket of one of his cycling jerseys.

As my search into increasingly obscure places fails to uncover the missing cable, I’m slowly coming to the conclusion I may need to simply buy another one.  The thought pains me.

So be gone, you evil little gnome – and take any family and friends you may have with you. You are not welcome here.

Image from torontopubliclibrary.typepad.com

About Joanne Sisco

Retired but not idle. Life is an adventure - I plan to continue to embrace it.
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79 Responses to You Are Not Welcome Here

  1. Ellen Hawley says:

    Absolutely it’s the gnomes. They’ve gotten into my place too. If you find a pair of drugstore reading glasses at your house, they’re mine and the gnomes sent them there just to mess with us both.

    Like

  2. Corina says:

    So glad you found the cable. That does sound like a fun way to find it. My mom has a prayer she says (not to St. Anthony) in Spanish and lights three votive candles and by the time the last of the three goes out, you have found the item. I’ve tried it at least a dozen times and it works. The other sure way to find is to go out and replace it and as soon as you do, the lost one pops up! 😉

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      The only problem I see with this theory of recovering stuff so that it doesn’t work on items forgotten behind when travelling. Unfortunately I’ve left things behind in hotel rooms never to be seen again 😦

      Like

  3. treerabold says:

    Even though I’ve never had kids….I believe you have helped me understand what’s happened to some of my belongings!!
    As for the socks in the bike jersey….sounds like my Sonya may have been doing your laundry!!!

    Like

  4. So I grew up in a house that was filled with women who were incredibly superstitious–aunts and grandmothers always speaking to ghosts, but more than that, to saints. They were always petitioning saints for some help or other.
    My mother prayed to Saint Anthony–patron saint of lost causes. Whenever we lost things, she’d say, “pray to Saint Anthony!” And sure enough, like with absurd regularity, whatever was lost was now found. I rolled my eyeballs a lot as a kid.
    But now as an adult, I can’t help but hear her in my head. I try not to lose anything so I don’t have to test her theory.
    Maybe as a last resort, you can give that old pearl a try.

    Like

  5. LB says:

    So here I am 4 days later and wondering if you found the cable yet?
    I’m sorry for getting a smile out of your desperation but I loved the way you said “my FitBit is sending desperate messages for help to my phone. I am powerless to stop its slow decline to blackness”.
    Is it any comfort to know that my Fitbit cable stopped working! I’m still deciding whether to get another …

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      Yes! I’m happy to report that the cable was found … exactly where it should have been and a place I checked repeatedly!!
      I’m surprised the cable stopped working. I have however heard that others have had problems with battery life and eventually it will no longer hold a charge.

      Like

  6. Alex Hurst says:

    I hate misplacing things!! It’s one of the things that frustrates me quicker than anything else! Just last week I’d realized I’d misplaced my passport! It was in an old bag I hadn’t used since my trip to Canada. Yikes.

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      GAH! I did that once too. Major heart attack moment when I couldn’t find my passport the night before I was leaving on vacation. After an hour of frantic, panic-stricken searching I did find it, but now it’s one of the first things I take out when I start packing!!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. beeblu says:

    And as soon as you buy a new one, the old one will turn up. Fiendish gnomes (funny, I was just reading a story in my university’s alumni magazine about students stealing gnomes and holding them to ransom in the university’s second year of operation 🙂 )

    Like

  8. My S-I-L has a ‘little man’ at her house who steals odd socks. Since she told me about him he’s been visiting my house too. He even followed me to England.
    The good news is that when I look for things I always find things I didn’t know I had!

    Like

  9. NancyTex says:

    Don’t ever move. You’ll never find your stuff once theyve been relegated to boxes and/or “temporary” homes.

    Like

  10. mickscogs says:

    I found my son’s 7 yr old ipod today, where he’d left it in my car. He told me last night how proud he was to have owned an electronic device for 7 years then this! It’s great finding things.

    Like

  11. Solveig says:

    I love the idea of an evil gnome. I don’t think that their existence is age related though… I am glad you managed to find your cable.

    Like

  12. badfish says:

    So it’s gnomes! I knew it couldn’t be me. And I must have a slew of the things living here in my house. Seems like I’m always looking for something I just had in my hand. Eye glasses might be one of the gnomes favorites.

    Like

  13. Sammy D. says:

    We blame it all on the (non-existent) maid. She’s been fired multiple times for incompetence and petty theft. 🙈

    I used to abhor having to pay to replace something like your cable. I now have a new attitude – remaining life is too short to stress, search or suffer. I head to the store and plop down my money with nary a second thought.

    Like

  14. Well I “misplaced” my Fitbit and I’m pretty sure it’s not coming back… :(. Glad you found your cable!

    Like

  15. Am so glad you found that cable…..it’s shown up in two of your posts now, so I know it was really under your skin that you couldn’t find it. However….now the question has to be…..HOW did Maggie know how to find it?…….that little spell she gave you rolled off her tongue pretty quickly it seems to me……is she perhaps a gnome in disguise or does she have gnome genes running through her somehow? Judging from her post the other day, her house would be a perfect hideout for a gnome…..Hmmmmmm……a new mystery…

    Like

  16. bkpyett says:

    Yesterday in the car, Millie, the dog, put down her own window. We hadn’t realised she was capable…. and thought we had the gnomes in the car too!

    Like

    • joannesisco says:

      I would say you just have an extraordinarily talented dog.
      I’m willing to bet that when you’re not home, she does all kinds of amazing things … she might have just forgotten herself in the car and accidentally revealed her superpowers 🙂

      Like

  17. bikerchick57 says:

    Well, I was going to say “check the freezer,” but that point is moot and it wouldn’t have been there anyway. Next time I lose something, I’m going to do the Maggie spin and see what happens since it worked for you.

    Like

  18. Evil gnomes and magical turning around spells…you sure have an eclectic post on the go here…love it!

    Like

  19. Mrs. P says:

    You do realize that as soon as you buy another one, you will find the one you lost. 😉

    Like

  20. I feel like my mom never loses anything.. I think her gnome decided to live with me instead!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Grrr. Think about putting the sugar in the fridge and the cream in the cupboard. Give you any clues yet?
    Been there. Done that. Soooo many times. Hope you find it instead of buying a new one, but hey, with a new one the old one will show up and you’ve have an extra one to go into hiding. 😀 😀 😀

    Like

  22. Stand in the center of the house, spin counter clockwise three times, chanting “Fit-bit, Fit-bit. Fit-Bit.” When you have finished that routine, go check the freezer, under the mat on the rear deck, and in the pockets of your weekend luggage. It will appear.
    If not, I’ve got nothing.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Lynn says:

    This is exactly how I picture the evil buggers in our house Joanne! You know what’s going to happen. As soon as you go out to replace the cable the tricky little sod will be the old one right in front of your eyes!

    Thanks for the link:)

    Like

    • Lynn says:

      Correction…for my hands type faster than my brain. “the tricky little sod will put the old one back, right in front of your eyes!

      Like

      • joannesisco says:

        It appears that is what just happened!! Read Maggie Wilson’s comment and my reply.

        I can’t believe it … but I found the damn cable exactly where it was supposed to be!! The fact I checked and rechecked at least a dozen times is irrelevent. At one point, I even took everything out of that drawer!! I can’t believe it was right there on top. Grrrr.

        FitBit is now charging happily 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  24. Oh, that explains it all. Of course, you realise that within hours of buying a new one, they’ll put the old one back where you can find it. Evil little buggers….

    Liked by 1 person

    • joannesisco says:

      yes – that’s crossed my mind. That’s why I’m holding out as long as I can.
      Once you have an infestation of evil gnomes, I wonder how difficult it is to get rid of them?

      Liked by 1 person

      • You can’t. But good to see you beat them this time. I’m going to try that next time.

        My best ‘lost’ story was when we couldn’t find a library book. I ended up having to pay for it. The next day I was under the Eldest Son’s bed (I don’t remember why but it must have been serious because you don’t enter that space lightly), I happened to glance up and there between the bed slats and the mattress was the book. Seriously, how does a book get there??? [shakes head]

        Like

        • joannesisco says:

          I have found objects in strange places but that’s one for the books (hahahahaha! … I’m so clever for 6 am)
          It appears you also have an infestation of evil gnomes and your boys haven’t even left home yet!! Those mischievous little devils are a bigger plague than I originally thought.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Oh yes, they’re chronic here. Like the school hat that was missing for the whole 6 months of the winter terms and I had no choice but to buy another one before the start of the last term (no hat, no play rule) and it turned up the following week. Sigh. To be fair, another child had it so that was the gnomes in someone else’s house hiding it the whole winter.

            Like

            • joannesisco says:

              I am so relieved that another parent has suffered the same fate at the hands of their children. Misha was the WORST for losing stuff…. and because I take everything personally, I assumed it was my fault as a bad mother. *sigh*

              Liked by 1 person

          • Oh. Er. Hahahahaha. My goodness, you are hilarious.

            [cough]

            Like

  25. Of all the pet peeves, not being able to find something has got to be the worst. It’s endless! You can’t say , in 15mins I will find this thing! Just no saying when it will turn up, if ever!!!

    Like

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