Earlier this summer I wrote a post about my cycling accident and the broken collarbone that caused all my summer plans to come crashing down.
I held out hope for 8 long weeks that by mid August I would have my summer back. Although publicly I was stating that my dream of cycling Thailand had died the day I crashed, there was a tiny spark of optimism … the final payment on our bike tour from Bangkok to Phuket wouldn’t be due until the end of August.
I TRULY BELIEVED that I could be healed and back in cycling form – albeit, marginal – in time for our October trip.
Those dreams however started to get wobblier with each passing week whenever I tried to spin indoors on my bike. Even a short ride of 30 or 40 minutes resulted in ugly feedback from my shoulder.
But I still continued to cling to a slim hope. It was going to be virtually impossible for me to complete all 1000 kilometers of the tour, but I thought I could likely complete *most* of it.
The weekend before my followup appointment with the Fracture Clinic, I bought a new helmet to replace the one damaged in the crash. I planned to be ready to ride again because I expected the followup x-ray to show a beautifully knitted bone – perfectly healed.
That’s how badly I wanted to go to Thailand … so I was emotionally unprepared for reality.
BEFORE – June 22, the day of the crash ….
AFTER – August 10th – 7 weeks after the crash ….
I was absolutely devastated when I saw the new x-ray.
The problem with a collarbone is that it can’t really be *set* without surgery and a plate to secure the bone. Apparently there isn’t a good way to immobilize a collarbone. If there is, I didn’t have it, and unfortunately my version of ‘taking it easy’ was still too much for my injured shoulder. Significant displacement (in my opinion) of the fracture had now occurred.
I was assured by my doctor in the Fracture Clinic that the almost-full mobility in my arm was good news and testament to the healing that was well in progress.
But there is still a long way to go – I was given a new 5 week window … not to mention the bump on my shoulder that would always. be. there.
A good friend managed to make me laugh out loud – in spite of my despondent mood – when she called me Mo-Jo … a short form for Quasimodo Joanne.
So now my Thailand dream trip is truly dead. Notification has been sent to the tour company and been acknowledged by them. My travelling friends have been advised, their condolences have been received, and I’m trying to maintain a brave face.
But I know that on October 4th when our flight leaves Toronto without me … I will be having a very unhappy day.
[…] going to make a bold statement and declare that the Saga Of The Broken Collarbone has finally reached its conclusion after 6 months and 20 […]
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[…] It’s been five. freaking. months. […]
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Oh, wow…I missed this…I am so sorry!
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Yeah, I’ve weathered that storm and hopefully the next x-ray this week will show a fully healed bone!
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I am keeping good thoughts for you…and your family, too!
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[…] content with wrecking my Big 60 travel plans, costing me literally thousands of dollars in repairs and replacements of various failed devices […]
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Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! You must be in pain still! You’ll probably need a pin to hold the bones together to nix the pain and get back on the bike and a normal life.
I needed a pin to hold my shattered wrist together once I got that surgery 3 weeks after the break all the pain vanished and the healing finally began. Whine, complain, be the squeaky wheel to get a pin and start the healing so you don’t miss any Spring cycling too!
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That’s exactly the conversation my husband and I had last week when I had another follow up X-ray. Although it is healing, it’s still far from solid bone. In hindsight, I would have been better off having had surgery back in June. I’d be fully healed by now. Oh well, 20-20 hindsight.
Happily I’m not in pain, but I still have restrictions in what I can do since it’s not fully healed. My biggest fear right now is falling. That would not be very good!!
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Another fall would be awful! I’m happy to hear you’re not in pain!
Is surgery off the table, or still and option?
I’ll keep sending healing vibes!
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Thank you – much appreciated.
The orthopedic surgeon was against surgery from the beginning – which surprises me. Now I think that train has left the station … although the next xray may tell a different story.
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In the meantime…baby that shoulder! xxx
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While I am so very sorry to hear this news, I am glad that you have been able to finally share the news. Sometimes acceptance helps to ease the emotional pain. Still, what a big bummer for you and your friends!
Your xrays are very similar to the ones a patient showed me yesterday (after I examined her and found the lump on her clavicle). Glad to hear that you have almost full mobility, how is your pain?
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Thanks Laurie – I have no pain and although I have virtually full use of my arm, I’ve been told to still avoid carrying anything even remotely heavy on my left.
… and I still can’t sleep comfortably on my left side.
You’re right though – acceptance does ease the disappointment and quite frankly offers a kind of relief too. Wallowing in self-pity drains a lot of energy!
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I’m really sorry to hear the healing hasn’t gone as planned. That is such a devastating thing. I’m also really sorry that your trip is also gone down with this news. My sincerest condolences.
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Thanks – misery really does love company 🙂
The injury would have been bad enough on its own, but completely sideswiping a trip for which I’ve been planning and training for a year really bites.
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Sadly sometimes things like this go hand in hand. Physical activity comes with great rewards and risks. I’m sorry that it has come down to you losing out on your trip and hard work that’s gone into it.
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Very true about the rewards and risks.
My husband and I have often commented to each other (usually when we’re trying to perk the other one up after an injury), that we wouldn’t get hurt if we stayed at home all the time and just watched TV.
… but then life would be very boring.
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Ooh missing a trip is hard. Sorry to hear this. That’s the bad news… But the good news is it’s healing. And…Thailand will still be there for a different trip another time. ( I know, easy to say….)
Peta
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Peta, I’m one of those people who believe that things happen for a reason.
As disappointing as this is, there’s also a part of me that’s wondering ‘why?’ … not because I’m angry, but because I’m curious.
My instinct tells me that the broken collarbone is a blessing in disguise, but I’ll likely never know why.
… and my instincts are usually right.
And of course … Thailand will always be there!! 🙂
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Ooh missing a trip is hard. That’s the bad news… But the good news is its healing. And…Thailand will still be there for a different trip another time. ( I know, easy to say….)
Peta
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Now I truly understand why you weren’t blogging as much. So very sorry your Thailand adventure had to come to a “crashing” halt. (Sorry) I hope you start to mend soon and can replay your travels down the road
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I don’t know if I’ll get another chance to do this Thailand trip. It was supposed to be my “last epic adventure” since I turned 60 this year. I doubt I will make the effort to train for a 1000 km bike trip after this. I had already invested a year of training. At 60, it was tough to do … it will be even harder going forward.
… but I really appreciate the kind thought. Who knows? Never say never 🙂
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I’m very sorry. I broke my collarbone and it was very unpleasant. If I’d lost a holiday too that would have made it miserable. Get well soon.
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Thanks. This has been a rather challenging year and I doubt I will carry fond memories of 2016.
But it’s done now, and I’m ready to move on … I’m sure there’s still an adventure out there with my name on it!
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Definitely. Roll on 2017
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Joanne, I am so very sorry that you had to cancel your trip to Thailand and so sorry that your collarbone didn’t heal as you had expected. If I lived anywhere near you, I’d be over to your house on October 4th with two bottles of wine and my support.
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Thanks for the sympathy Mary. It’s been frustrating and disappointing, but I’m actually surprised by how much better I feel now that I’ve given notice to the tour company and blogged about it. The process has been cathartic and now I’m ready to think about Plan B … whatever that is 🙂
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Oh Joanne, I’m so sorry to hear you had to cancel. I know how important your trip was to you, and also how important it is to have hope. I think you definitely need a totally fabulous distraction on Oct 4th (and lots of other little nice things to do over what would have been the duration of your trip). Take care and heal well my friend.
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Thanks Su. It’s been a challenging summer in many ways and I dragged my feet on this decision.
Now it’s made and I oddly feel better about it.
The question I’m still pondering now is – what’s next?
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I can understand that. Making a decision, even when it’s choosing something we don’t really want, is positive. It’s the beginning of accepting and moving on. As to what next?, I’m sure you will create new adventures. Good luck!
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Thanks 🙂
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How rotten! What is your collarbone even doing with all its time?!? I’m so very sorry for your plans being ruined. I think you should think of something marvelous to do on October 4th, a distraction of a pleasant sort! You can come here, we’ll have leftover birthday cake 😉
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I can always be distracted with cake! mmmm – cake ….
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I’m happy to see your optimism in the shape of the new helmet. This is what pulls you through. This and bones. 🙂
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Definitely bones!! 🙂
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Ah Joanne, this totally sucks! I know how much you were looking forward to this trip & I can only imagine how incredibly disappointed you must be. Sending you uber hugs my friend & wishes for future exciting adventures once your body has healed.
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Thanks my friend … and in the meantime I will live vicariously through you on your great adventure to SA!!
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That really sucks balls…
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Big, hairy balls.
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Oh my this does look nasty and of course such a disappointment for you. Along with everyone else here I wish you nothing but the best in getting better.
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I think I got the last of the bitterness out of me when I wrote this post. Isn’t there an expression about the universe laughing at our petty plans? 🙂
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That is such a drag. You probably know this already, but in true nerd form: I just learned the other day that the collarbone is the most commonly broken bone in the body because it is meant to break. It stops any reverberating stress or trauma from travelling up to your next and head by snapping and breaking the flow of force from your injury. So your body worked perfectly! (initially) I don’t think that made you feel better as I had hoped, but I do hope you feel better soon. Let’s do some low-impact ladies’ fun soon!! xox
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I did not know that!!
I knew that the collarbone was the most commonly broken bone among cyclists … and probably some other athletic pursuits.
But I didn’t know it was intended to break to prevent trauma to the neck and head!!
That’s actually pretty cool 🙂
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Maybe plan something wild and unique on October4th to distract and disrupt your feeling of sadness and remorse, Joanne. I am sure this is not an original thought but I wonder what your first thought when I mentioned go crazy in a totally different, safe and not dangerous way?
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That’s the funny part. I draw a blank. I see nothing. Hopefully inspiration will strike 🙂
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So sorry Joanne. There are many times when we’re unprepared for reality, aren’t there? I hope you’re not in physical pain.
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Thanks Jan – fortunately I’m not in pain. Go figure. I look at the x-ray and wonder why not. Maybe I’m a mutant 😉
Seriously … sometimes reality gets in the way
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I’ve been waiting and waiting for this post and news of your follow up. I’m SO SORRY! However, I am glad to hear that there is improvement and healing going on…..trips we can replace, our Joanne we cannot! Am thinking about when you first posted about your training for Thailand and I said perhaps you should bike down here in preparation……maybe we should change that up and invite you and Gilles down for an stateside Thanksgiving!..might be an interesting thing to go through customs on a bike, eh? Barring that, I think you’re well-deserved of an adventure this winter…..while you’re still healing you do have some time to research…….
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Awww Torrie, I could give you a big hug … or several ❤
I haven't given any real thought to alternative plans, but I love the idea of a Thanksgiving stateside … without any bikes 😉
I wonder what the probability would be of talking Gilles into that one?
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Can’t hurt to try, huh? 🙂 Invitation is there….bikes or no bikes! If the snow comes early this year (yes, I know you don’t want to think about it!) we might even show you an ice dune!
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Yikes – if we have snow and ice by Canadian Thanksgiving, I’m planning a winter as far south as I can, for as long as I can!!
Thanks for the invitation. I will keep you posted!
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What a shame that you won’t be able to make it Joanne 😦 I know you had your heart set on going. It doesn’t even look like the old Italian fix (duct tape) would have helped that collar bone.
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Thanks Joe. It’s pretty crappy but I can’t really complain – I’m tough and I’ll get over it 🙂
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I’m so sorry to hear, and see, this bad news. I have to ask, is surgery an option you can consider? I only ask because that just doesn’t look good. It must have been devastating to officially cancel the trip. I think you should plan a treat for yourself on October 4th. You almost have to wonder why shoulders are so important to bicycle comfort. I know first hand that if they hurt, you aren’t riding, but it seems like they should be mostly going along for the ride. At least you have friends with a good sense of humor, Mo-Jo – gotta love that.
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I have to admit, Mo-Jo is rather funny 🙂
I can see why the shoulder might be unhappy outside on the road having to absorb the shock from the road, but like you I’m rather puzzled why it should be so uncomfortable on the trainer.
Having said that, riding indoors isn’t a great experience to begin with.
Writing this post really helped me let go of my disappointment. I’m ready to begin making new plans again. Perhaps I should stick to hiking … 😉
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I’m so sorry to hear this even though it’s not surprising. Any chance you could still make the trip to Thailand and make it a walking tour (with transport to other parts of the country).
p.s. Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam was one of the many trip options I explored before booking my Oct trip.
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I had thought of making the trip to Thailand anyway and simply letting go of the bike tour. The flights are booked … but it’s just not that straight forward. Unfortunately I would be going alone 😦
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Hubby wouldn’t come?
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It’s complicated Nancy. Maybe someday over a glass of wine 🙂
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You’re on lady!
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As others have already said I had to look twice at the x-rays to see if they were in the right order. I so hope it mends soon, but obviously not in time for the big trip. Good to see that you are coming to terms with the bitter disappointment – they way I see it you need to have a really luxury weekend away for your birthday doing what you like most (NOT cycling – I forbid that), and remember October is a lovely month for autumnal colours so get out with your camera, and if all else fails for 4th October I’ll let you join me in celebrating MY birthday, I’m a few years ahead of you but who’s counting? 60 is just another number 😀
Jude xx
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October 4th is your birthday?! Then I will definitely have to be raising a glass of wine and eating cake in celebration with you 🙂
… and yes, I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that 60 is just another number. A big number, but better than the alternative 😉
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Indeed. And yes, raise that glass 🙂
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You bet! Consider it done 🙂
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Oh Joanne I felt like sobbing at the sight of the second x-ray. I’m so sorry it has played out this way. Definitely not fair and utterly disappointing. Definitely sending gentle hugs your way.
Although it really doesn’t compare in 2007 I broke my foot. We had a trip to Mexico booked 5 weeks later. Long story short the x-ray looked identical to the day I fractured it 4 weeks later. Same for the following 4. I ended up on two trips with cast and crutches. Anyway I recall the heartache, the disappointment and the tears. I didn’t react as positively as you are. Bravo to you I say my friend! Xoxo
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Strangely, you actually made me feel better. If someone like you – a nurse and highly active type – can have a similar experience with an injury, I don’t feel like such a failure. Yes – as odd and illogical as it sounds, I felt like a failure … I couldn’t get a bone to heal ‘properly’.
The purpose of this post was to put this sorry chapter behind me and finally move on. There are other adventures to dream up!
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I can totally appreciate the feeling of failure Joanne. I began to think there must be something wrong with me physically that I couldn’t heal. The whole thing taught me a huge lesson. The fact was, in my case, I didn’t heal because I was too active. I was told to do minimal weight bearing and my idea and the physician’s idea were divergent. More learning when explaining to patients to be specific.
Yes many adventures ahead no matter what today looks like. I believe it is totally reasonable and healthy to grieve the loss of the Thailand adventure. It’s a huge disappointment pure and simple. Having a positive outlook to the future will help but that doesn’t mean you need to just ‘get over it’ either.
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So your experience was exactly the same as mine. Being told to ‘take it easy’ isn’t exactly informative … especially since people like you and I have a very different idea of what ‘easy’ means. *No* weight bearing would have meant something to me rather than ‘take it easy’ 😦
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Yes you see we really are twins! Following the lack of progress I moved on to NO weight bearing. It was all a very humbling experience where I was reliant on others. It was my right foot so no driving. That lack of independence really was tough.
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omg – the first 3-4 weeks when I couldn’t drive … that was the WORST! Ugh – now I’m really sympathizing with you!!!
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Oh my. It looks worse than when you did it 😣 I am sending you happy thoughts of healing.
I hope you can get better without surgery.
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It’s very unlikely I will need surgery. It is mending … just slower than I anticipated.
Oh well. I’m at a point where I can think ‘it could be worse’ 🙂
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I guess that will make you slow down whether your like it or not! I’ve never broken anything (wood – knock knock) so to me your injury looks like it’s beyond painful! I want to just go in there and get you with some super glue 😉
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I’m not in pain, but I admit it disturbs me that I have something that’s broken and no longer the shape it’s supposed to me.
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Aww … I’m so sorry. I feel your pain — the emotional stuff about the plane leaving (I’ve never broken anything so I can’t imagine the physical one). Perhaps it was good to write about it all here?!
It takes time for new bone matter to form. You just never know what the Universe has in store for you. When you look back on this period of time, in a few years, there might be a few “Ah hah!” experiences.
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You know, Rebekah … that’s exactly what I’m thinking. I’m definitely one of those people who think things happen for a reason. I might not like it, but I’m not meant to take this trip.
… and it has made a difference to write about it. That’s why we blog, isn’t it? 🙂
I’ve had my chance to whine about this to someone other than my husband and now I’m moving on 🙂
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I had no idea you’d broken your collarbone! I’m so very sorry, and for all your plans to have fallen through like that…I understand why you feel terrible 😦
I do hope it gets better soon and that you will get your trip at some other point in the future – I know it’s meager consolation right now but I’m sending hugs and ❤
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Thanks Nathalie. I’m always appreciative of hugs!! ❤
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I’ll keep sending them until that pesky bone has mended! 🙂
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❤
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Oh Joanne. Sorry to hear you’re recovery has not gone to plan. Take it easy and rest that collar bone. Perhaps the universe has other plans for you later this year?
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I’m thinking that too. I believe things happen for a reason … I just have to be patient to discover why.
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Patience …. that’s the hard part.
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Not exactly my strong suit!
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I am so sorry Joanne- I must say I winced when I saw that x ray. So disappointing. Are you wearing a sling to keep immobile? A friend of mine used a bone growth stimulator that helped to heal a bone that wasn’t healing. So sorry- I hope there is something you can treat yourself to at the end of those 5 weeks to something else special
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I was in a sling for a week and a shoulder harness for 2 additional weeks.
I did feel marginally better when I was told that even with *immobilization*, a shoulder isn’t really immobile.
Thankfully the bone is actually healing … it’s just taking a lot longer than I anticipated and certainly the displacement has been a huge part of that.
You’re right though, I need to start thinking about a Plan B.
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I am beyond sorry – that is so disappointing. It really sucks to be mentally healthy and then your body lets you down. Looks like you have a lot of support and I’m sure you will find a good way to celebrate turning 60! xo Karen
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Thanks Karen – you’re exactly right … the disconnection between my head and my body is what’s making me so frustrated.
Writing this post has been very cathartic and I’m ready to move on now and make other plans … preferably one that doesn’t involve my shoulder 😉
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Oh no I am so sorry to hear this Joanne!! You will have to make other plans for that day, I am sure you will think of something fabulous. Is another trip without cycling out of the question?
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Thanks Suvi.
I had actually considered going to Thailand anyway since I had the flights booked … and just cancelling the bike tour itself.
Unfortunately it’s not coming together 😦
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Oh sorry to hear that 😔😔
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That sucks Joanne xxx I hope you plan something really wonderful for the 4th of October. I think it should involve chocolate, fresh air and people you love. Wishing those bones back together xxx
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Thanks Annie – I’ve started to think about Plan B. You’ve identified 3 critical components … but left out the wine. Must include wine!! 😉
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Oh my goodness…how could I forget that?!
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Aw, fuck! That does not look good… and no 60th birthday party at a beach bar in Thailand 😦 😦 That bloody bone has a lot to answer for.
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YES! Exactly it!!
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Well my friend, if I would live closer we would go and have a magnificent dinner on October 4th. Preferably at a Thai place. Your accident could have ended so much worse. Your collarbone will heal, especially if you will follow your doctor’s orders. (I know I have a hard time with it as well…don’t ask about my thumb.) Thailand will still be there waiting for. In the end, you just lost a trip.
As for me…I always had a soft spot for Quasimodo. 🙂
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hahaha! I’ll never hear MoJo quite the same way again 🙂
Oh God – your thumb is still causing you grief too!! What a pair we make!!
I love the idea of dinner at a Thai place on the 4th. What a great plan 🙂
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My thumb would be fine IF I would give it a rest as I should. I got tired of my brace and decided that I am healed…come to find out I am not a doctor.
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I wince when I look at your X-rays. How sad that you’re going to miss your trip. I hope at least you’ll get reimbursed for whatever you’ve put down on it. And thanks for the lesson. If I ever break my collarbone, I ain’t doin’ nothin’.
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We bought travel insurance, but the question is whether we will actually be able to collect. I’ve heard so many horror stories about all the ways insurance companies can dream up reasons to not pay out.
I’m braced for the worst … this is after all a Monkey year
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Good luck to you, dealing with the monkeys. 😉
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I am so sorry Joanne. This really does suck. I know how disappointing it can be to suffer an injury that takes you off the playing field. I hope the next 5 weeks brings you the healing you are hoping for. I agree with an earlier comment…plan something fun for Oct. 4th.
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Thanks Tree.
I think I’m ready to move on now and start making new plans.
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That’s good to hear. You have many other adventures that don’t require a collar bone!!
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Hiking is looking better and better 😉
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Yo MoJo! Here’s the way I see it . . .
While you were NOT following doctor’s orders to “take it easy,” your broken collarbone did “take it easy” by taking the entire summer off and doing absolutely NOTHING to knit itself back together again. I’m not surprised you have a bone of contention with it right now.
Hope the coming weeks show a bit more progress.
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Funny 🙂
When the doctor magnified the x-ray, he was able to show me that in fact a lot of new bone had in fact started to form – which is why I can move my arm without (almost) any pain now. It just has a LOT more to go.
I too am hoping the next x-ray is a lot more encouraging.
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OK, that sucks… I can’t believe that your second x-ray didn’t show the kind of improvement you would expect (I had to double check the dates on the x-rays to be sure you hadn’t switched them by mistake). Please, please plan for something very special to enjoy on October 4 so you can feel a bit better about staying behind. Btw, Paul says that you should get a second opinion about the care of your fracture… maybe you do need surgery and a plate. (Gentle) hugs from San Diego!
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Thanks Janis. I always appreciate hugs 🙂
I think I needed to write this post to finally let go of my October plans and put them behind me. I agree that I need new plans – don’t know what yet, but *something* to take the sting out of this non-trip.
I’m seeing my doctor next week (as opposed to the Fracture Clinic at the hospital) to discuss the x-rays. There is a particular shoulder specialist I’m interesting in talking to and hopefully it can be arranged.
Meanwhile, I hope your own recovery is progressing. Hopefully less pain, more mobility?
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Yep. My hip bones are healing nicely. Fortunately, I took the brunt of my fall on my hip and butt which, apparently, heals better than collar bones.
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Good news!! Keep on healing 🙂
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So sorry Joanne! You must be devastated. 😦
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Actually, writing about it helps to put it behind me. I think I’m finally ready to let it go…. although I’m pretty sure October is still going to suck.
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Oh poor Joanne! What can I say? S*** happens!
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Yup … it most certainly does.
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Aw 😦 I’m sorry to hear the not-thrilling news, but still so very glad the damage wasn’t even worse.
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I know you’re right. I still consider myself very lucky, but every once in while I have a bit of a pity party.
I’m hoping this post now puts it firmly behind me and I can move on … time to make new plans …
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Oh dear Joanne, I can feel your disappointment all the way in South Africa.That break looks incredibly painful! Any possibility you could do the trip to Thailand next year when you are fully recovered?
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The timing of this trip was signficant. Good friends were involved in this trip and it was my 60th birthday *hurrah* … a big, hairy, audacious goal to recognize a milestone I was otherwise feeling rather uncomfortable with.
Oh well …
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We offer our sincere commiserations, Joanne. I still think you owe yourself an epic adventure, even if it isn’t the one you were initially set on, even if it is a few weeks belated, and not only to celebrate your important birthday milestone but also to celebrate your recovery!
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I like the sound of that … an epic adventure to celebrate my recovery. hmmm … food for thought 🙂
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Okay, I have to give you the full run down of my responses:
Post appears in Reader with x-ray photo: “Ouch. Just. OUCH.”
Joanne talks about her hopes to still go to Thailand: “Yep. Soooo totally get that. I would be doing the same.”
X-rays appear in the post: “GASP! No way! Oh my….. Is she sure she’s got those images the right way round??” (I checked. You did.)
Quasimodo joke: “Geez, she’s amazing. Not sure I’d be laughing under any circumstances.”
Joanne talks about her crushed hopes and her dread of October 4: “Now I just wanna cry.”
Feels. All the feels. No adequate words. Wish I could get on a plane and arrive at the airport on October 4 as a distraction. Sending you lots of virtual, not-so-squeezy hugs.
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awwww …. I have welly-eyes reading this ❤
I can handle squeezy hugs, but will happily take all your virtual, not-so-squeezy ones!!
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Oh, that is just frickin’ awful. I am so sorry.
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Thanks VD. I’m such a PollyAnna, I was hoping you might have a little of magic up your sleeve. Oh well.
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Well, I couldn’t hit ‘like’ on this just thinking about your disappointment and future weeks of healing. Take it easy. 🙂
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Thanks Judy.
People were asking so I thought I should put it out there. It’s been several days now and I finally found the words to write about it.
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