I’m noticing that as I get older, I’m deriving more comfort from reminders of the past. Whether it’s familiar sights, music, foods … they all bring back memories of a time when I was young and had a lifetime ahead of me.
So I guess it was inevitable that I would find myself back in one of the neighbourhoods where I lived before my life as a parent began.
Back in September, I wrote about the area of the city I lived in when I first moved to Toronto. You can find that post here. From that sleazy area, I then moved into one of the most exclusive neighbourhoods in the cities.
Toronto Life magazine once described Rosedale as “a locale of choice for multimillionaire urbanites”.
Not that I was (or am) a multimillionaire … just a wannabe who lucked into an amazing deal of an apartment in an old 3-storey Victorian home.
My roommate – a coworker – and I had the entire 3rd floor attic which had been converted into a very large 2 bedroom apartment. I felt like I had moved into a fairy tale. We were young, extremely ambitious, and knew how to play hard. That 3rd floor walk-up fueled our dreams of the future.
I hadn’t been back in the old ‘hood since I moved out over 30 years ago (it’s frightening to be talking about decades ago when reminiscing), but imagine my surprise when I discovered my former home was gone.
Yes. Gone. Erased …. like a piece of my history never existed.
It was a corner lot on a triangular piece of land and it now appears that the neighbouring home annexed the property and converted it into a parking lot to expand their backyard.
Of course, the apartment building I later moved into was still there. The squat, ugly building somehow managed to survive, while the beautiful Victorian did not.
If there is a lesson in here somewhere, I’m not seeing it yet.
Both the house my mother grew up in and the one I grew up in are gone. Completely erased. Not a tree, not a bush. Monstrous houses built from fence to fence to replace them. I’ve always found it somewhat distressing. At least I’d had warning they were gone. I can’t imagine going looking for a piece of your history only to find it disappeared. 😦
LikeLike
I think that’s the insulting part … when it’s not replaced with something better
😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a shame they pulled it down, that would have broken my heart too 😦
LikeLike
I agree 😦
It surprises me that I feel such a sense of loss for a place in which I lived for only a year.
LikeLike
Well, it might seem strange to some but I completely understand it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you suppose the Victorian house burned down, Joanne?
The song about taking down paradise and putting up a parking lot crossed my mind. . .
I would love to live in One Big Room of these gorgeous Rosedale mansions, Joanne! 🙂 So, once you finalize your moving plans and get all of it squared away, could I just reside in the attic or room off the rooftop? Please, I will pay rent which will buy your groceries! Ha ha 😀
LikeLike
I’ll be happy for the company rattling around in a big old mansion!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have long referred to myself as THE DISCONTINUED WOMAN, Joanne….it seems all those staples I so enjoyed over the years….my favourite shoe type, my favourite style of clothing, music I like, my favourite haircut, eyeglasses, etc. have all be consigned to non-existence one by one the older I get. I do miss them! I haven’t had this experience you have going back to find a place I lived has disappeared, but I can imagine how surreal that must be. Sometimes, I wonder about this word they call progress….
LikeLike
Ha! There is nothing *discontinued* about you … but I know what you mean 😉
The turning point for me was when I discovered that everything has a cost. Progress can be wonderful … but there is still a cost, and often I wonder if the price was worth it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
After a lifetime of living in and around Toronto and still working in the heart of downtown I am so disheartened at the destruction of the heritage buildings. Mansions and condos seem to pop up like mushrooms… Bound to be worse when, like your old place, it hits you personally:-(
LikeLike
I’m not sure which is worse … the unnecessarily large McMansions or the ubiquitous condo towers with their tiny matchbox units.
As I’m out searching for these heritage buildings on the list I found on the internet, occasionally I discover that the building no longer exists. It was neglected for so long, it was no longer salvageable. Last weekend I found several – all in a row – that are likely not going to be there in a year from now. Will probably become a new condo tower. It is sad.
LikeLike
So sad… Hugs ♥♥
LikeLike
And they wrote it all down to the progress of man – John Prine
LikeLike
Oh yes … that relentless progress. Once upon a time, in my youth, I appreciated that progress … now, I think it might be trying to run me down 🙂
LikeLike
That so sad 😦
LikeLike
I agree. It was a short “stepping-stone” chapter in my life. I had hoped to gather something a little more tangible from that visit, but it wasn’t to be. It’ll have to stay relegated to the memory banks 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘Progress’ is a cantankerous old bugger.
Good luck on the medical front, Joanne. Susan (my Mrs) came off her bike yesterday and has some stitches over her left eye as a memento. Bloody cycling….
Very saddened by the passing of Leonard last week but it’s good to play his stuff. His lyrics invariably raise a smile 🙂
LikeLike
Oh no!! Stitches around the eye can never be a good thing! I think most people don’t realize how dangerous cycling really is.
I admit the news of Leonard Cohen’s passing came as a bit of a shock. I guess I thought he would be around for a very long time 😦
LikeLike
Aw, what a shame! But you still have your memories of it and those lovely pictures. Memories are a double edged sword with me; it’s nice to reminisce but I can often get pretty tearful when I think of how quickly the years have whizzed by and of people/places/experiences that aren’t with me anymore.
LikeLike
… and that whizzing-by feeling is speeding up. Sometimes I wish it would just slow down!! Getting old …
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, Joanne – I totally understand the feeling. The home that I grew up in was torn down in order to build a much larger, much uglier (IMHO) house. The parking lot piece is even more annoying!
Donna
LikeLike
I think that’s the part that shocked me the most … parking?! I know parking is a challenge everywhere in the downtown area, but it just felt so … insulting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This post reminds me of why pictures are so dear to me…they can’t be erased! The house I lived in when my daughter was born was torn down and a newer bigger house took it’s place.
But the house I grew up in still exists, much nicer looking than when we lived in it. My dad sold it for 70k in the late 1970s. Being right in the heart of the expanded Silicon Valley, it’s now worth 1.5 million! If only we’d waited before selling. The irony of it all is that it is the same square footage as our project house…location, location!
LikeLike
It is always startling to see a place you lived in erased. The whole area where I lived my first 6 years in Alaska was torn out and a hotel was put there. It is surreal to visit.
LikeLike
I know! Your eyes see it, but your mind doesn’t accept it. Surreal indeed!
LikeLike
Oh no. That is so not right, so not fair, so not good. I’m missing it, too.
When we were headed back to Indiana after The Mister’s service, I looked at the townhouses I lived in when I was single. I knew they were big enough, in the right schools, and they’d make nice temporary digs. We chose to live with his parents for five months. The cost of living has gone up much more than pay, and that’s all I can say about that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It seems that our memories rarely align with reality … and sometimes that lesson comes as a big shock!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess the lesson is to value our past before it’s too late!
LikeLike
We certainly need to value all the details of today, because there is no certainty that those details will still be there tomorrow!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s right. And to have a whole house disappear! That is really disorienting, especially when you remember it as such a beauty.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a shocker – and goodness knows what message or lesson you can learn from it. The first two buildings are gorgeous though!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
LikeLike
Rosedale is a wonderful place to take a walk if you love grand homes. I had forgotten how truly grand it was and enjoyed myself on this excursion … even if I did manage to get lost twice and ultimately discovered the target of my mission was gone!
LikeLike
Oh, wow. visiting old haunts is such a two-edged sword. I can’t imagine going back and finding a house I lived in gone. Such a shock.
Gorgeous buildings and fantastic pictures. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
A village house we lived in during mid-1950 is still standing and better than ever. It has a nine-ft basement now.
LikeLike
You’re right – it is a double-edged blade. It can be really satisfying and a feel-good moment, or a WTF experience like I had.
I can laugh now 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed. Just go with the flow. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Joanne, I wonder if the building was mold infested? you know and the cost of repair was too great.
also – the parking lot does seem to be lackluster replacement…..
LikeLike
I don’t know about the mold, but I would certainly agree that selling the property was likely more lucrative than trying to repair it.
… but to buy such an expensive piece of real estate for parking?!! Obviously they had the money to do it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes – and is parking hard to find there? We have places in Richmond where I know some homeowners would do anything for some parking spots (and area called the fan)
also – I read a couple comments above and I had no idea that Joni Mitchell sang the “paved paradise and put up a parking lot” song….
LikeLike
Parking anywhere downtown is a challenge and Rosedale is no exception.
… and yes, Joni Mitchell actually wrote the song. I confess I’ve never been a big Joni Mitchell fan although there is no denying her creative talent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
same here – never a fan but agree the talent!
And enjoyed traveling back in time a bit with you with this post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks 🙂
LikeLike
Maybe the lesson here is, you can’t go back. And maybe you wouldn’t want to go back. Good luck with your shoulder surgery! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I lived in a Victorian in downtown Portland way back in the 70s – I’m sure it probably hasn’t survived. It wasn’t in that great of shape and shook during wind storms. But I do have fond memories.
LikeLike
If you have fond memories, maybe it would be better if you never go back to try and find it 😉
LikeLike
That would be sad not ad…ugh to typos.
LikeLike
So ad to find it gone? do you suppose it fell into such disrepair it was demolished. Let’s hope that was the reason and not just bulldozed for progress.
Any news from the fracture clinics?
LikeLike
My guess is that it was worth more to the owner to sell it, than to try and maintain it. I still think it would have been an awfully expensive parking place for the neighbour!
News from the fracture clinics wasn’t great. Misha’s foot is definitely broken and he’s on crutches and in an air boot for the next 6-8 weeks.
Meanwhile, my shoulder hasn’t healed at all in the past 2 months. I’m now looking at surgery next Monday.
It just keeps getting better and better
LikeLike
Oh Joanne I can’t stand to hear it! That’s just no fair at all my friend. Wishing i could deliver this gentle hug in person but know I am sending many your way. Do keep me posted as you can. XO
LikeLike
Thank you. I can always count on you to sympathize. I’m actually rather relieved that the surgeon has FINALLY acknowledged that it’s not going well.
Hopefully with the bone reset and a plate put in, it will finally heal quickly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a good attitude to take Joanne. Basically let’s get on with the healing. So hoping this is the needed step that results in a complete recovery.
LikeLike
Exactly! If all things work out properly, both Misha and I will be healed by the end of this Monkey year!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will definitely be cheering for that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those two places would be on a lot of peoples’ lists for Santa. Sad that your old place was gone though 😦
LikeLike
I figure it’s the least he could do to make up for screwing up on my requested dollhouse when I was five.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It doesn’t seem fair, does it? Just gone – like a lover who left to get milk and never came back.
LikeLike
omg – if that ever happened, I would be in therapy for the rest of my life!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My parents’ former home has been bought by a developer who has not been kind to it by all accounts. I don’t think I shall be going to see for myself. It still looks pretty good in my memories and photo album.
LikeLike
I’ve seen good things from developers, and awful things. Unfortunately more awful than good.
You’re lucky you have photos. They help to keep the memories crisp 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a shame!!!
I’m with you. I could easily live in either of those two homes! They’re gorgeous. I imagine equally so inside too.
LikeLike
I know! I could move in tomorrow 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a shame…it was indeed a lovely house. Always sad to see those stately houses disappear. (Suzanne)
LikeLike
I’m guessing these old homes can become a monster to maintain. If the owner doesn’t have deep pockets, the big dollars offered to take away the burden becomes very enticing. That neighbour bought a very expensive parking spot.
LikeLike
Shame. Nice memories, though.
LikeLike
Thanks. My memories combined with my delusions of how I should be living keep me entertained 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
They keep me entertained too. 😜
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t help thinking of the Joni Mitchell lyric from Big Yellow Taxi: “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.” It’s so sad when history is lost. I guess some people don’t know what they’ve got till its gone…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I appreciate that sometimes a building gets so rundown, it makes sense to tear it down and rebuild.
… but a parking lot? 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Memories are wonderful when they lift us up . . . and not so much if they make us maudlin. I have a bittersweet relationship with my own memories. Sometimes I am happier when I do not re-visit them too often.
That looks like quite a neighborhood to “start out in.” I used to want to own a mammoth Victorian with 3 separate turrets for writing and painting and playing the guitar. Now the idea of all those stairs holds no appeal. 🙂
LikeLike
That’s the problem when your starter neighbourhood is upscale and then the real world creeps in.
Our first home after I married and moved out of this area was several big steps down!!
The stairs wouldn’t necessarily be the issue for me … it would be cleaning and maintaining it. I would want it to come with its own live-in staff 😉
LikeLike
What a crying shame someone would tear down a beautiful old Victorian home like that Joanne ☹️ It’s almost as bad as having a reality show star elected as President 😳
Seriously I’m surprised a house like that was not protected under some national historic society law.
LikeLike
Toronto hasn’t had a great record on preserving old buildings, but in the last several years, that has started to change. In my search for heritage buildings, I’m starting to find more and more plaques on buildings that have been recognized.
I find their stories very interesting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
oh – and I forgot …. have a reality show *star* (and I use that word very, very loosely) elected as President is MANY times worse 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMAO
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many of my clients tear down houses to build their mini-castles. It’s sad IMO. Many of the homes were cute Victorian houses. Now replaced with 3 story homes at the building extent of the yard. 😣
LikeLike
I had heard of this happening in some neighbourhoods. Unfortunately, this was my first experience with it. Couldn’t they pick on someone else’s happy memories? (yeah, I meant that as selfishly as it sounded 😉 )
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate to this… the house I grew up in has been demolished and a new property built in its place. The plot has been raised and re-levelled – no trace remains of my father’s beautiful rose garden that he used to tend with such dedication, or the chestnut tree I planted as a kid.
LikeLike
My childhood home is gone now too … although I came to terms with that years ago when my brother first approached me about rebuilding on the lot. If it had been me, I would probably have done the same thing.
… but when the special little pieces are gone – like your chestnut tree – it feels empty. Like a loss.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, the house, I understand that rationally, needed to be torn down. It was badly built and wasn’t worth renovating. A community hall now stands in its place – a handsome building, and one that serves the whole village. Still, every time I walk past it, I feel a twinge. More for the tree and the garden than anything else. We’re getting old 😉
LikeLike
ha! Isn’t that the truth? I used to look disparagingly at older people who mourned the loss of “the good old days”. Now I fear I’ve become one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my gosh! That’s terrible! What an amazingly, beautiful building, I’m so sorry. Thank goodness no one can take away your memories – I’ll bet it was awesome living there.
LikeLike
The problem with memories is that we have a tendency to scrub them a bit. If they were good, our memory is shinier and vice versa.
My memories are very shiny, so I’m going to stick with that 🙂
LikeLike
What a shame, Joanne. I don’t like it when old places are torn down. We lose something of the past including beautiful craftsmanship that just doesn’t seem to be the norm any longer. 😦
LikeLike
I feel the same way, Diana. I had heard about people buying the adjacent property in some neighbourhoods in order to increase the size of their property, give more privacy, build a bigger house … all kinds of reasons.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it did make me sad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s sad when old, beautiful buildings get torn down, especially when uglier (and perhaps newer) ones are still standing. It must have been weird to be looking for it and finding it wasn’t there.
LikeLike
That’s exactly it, Marissa. It felt weird in the WTF kind of way.
LikeLike
Right, like kind of when you’re looking for your car and then you find out it got towed.
LikeLike
Nooo! I’ve never had that happen (knock on wood!!) That would be such a HORRIBLE experience!!
I did panic once when I couldn’t find my car after scouring the parking lot for what felt like forever.
I was about to report my car stolen … then I remembered I took the subway to work …
LikeLike
Oh, that is too funny! Have to say I never did that one but I did get my car towed a couple of times. It’s a terrible experience.
LikeLike
I think I prefer my version to discovering my car is at home. Getting your car towed is not only a terrible experience, but really expensive too!
LikeLike
Yes, for sure and sometimes they tow your car really far away and you have to take a cab to pick it up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once I accidentally parked in a driveway…swear I had no idea! Worst experience of my life. I ended up walking to where it was towed. When I got to the city hall the pay the fine they woman just sneered at me like parking in a driveway was on a par with murder!
LikeLike
Well, most people are pretty territorial about their parking spots, so … yeah, I guess it would be considered a high crime.
I’m starting to see the bad-girl side of you 😉
LikeLike
Hey, I didn’t mean it! I swear!! (and by the way…starting???)
LikeLike
OH. I’m sorry. Of course, I’ve always known you were a bad-girl!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I find it sad when something you hold such memories of, is suddenly no longer there. It is not so much the structure itself, but more the emotions of the time you spent there. I do hope Santa is listening to your request though, that way you could make new memories in this neighbourhood & I, of course, would come to visit!
LikeLike
Of course you would have to come and visit! I would need help planning and hosting parties to fill all that empty space!! 🙂
… but we can dream, can’t we? Even if those dreams are totally impractical 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It hurts to see our old places gone. I know how you feel, it’s almost like they would erase us with it.
Treasure the memories you have, they can’t be destroyed by humans.
LikeLike
Thank goodness for that. I think our memories define us … our past certainly has made us who we are today, for better or worse.
There are just some things I thought would always be there, but it appears I’m wrong. Maybe that’s the lesson … appreciate all the details of today, because tomorrow doesn’t provide any guarantees.
LikeLike
What? How is that even possible? And who would want to pull down such a beauty? Surely worth more as a property than a yard? Or maybe you got the wrong corner… says she hopefully.
LikeLike
That was my thought too … that I had the wrong corner. I’m sure I looked like a crazed person trying to figure it out. Unfortunately, all the other remembered landmarks were in the right place. I was simply denying the truth in front of me 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Boo hoo!!
LikeLiked by 1 person